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Secret Lives of Second Wives, The (2007)
IMDB rating: 3.40
Plot: Lynn Hughes finds that marriage the second time around is far from idyllic when the ex wife and her children return to manipulate her husband Jack.
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Directors: Mendeluk George
Actors: Brian McNamara,McDonell Ryan,Payne Dan,Duchart Paul,Dorsey Rufus,Huck Peter,Drama,Romance,
When is it "O.K." to lie to your spouse?
My wife has been lying to me for years about anything and everything. I know I’m not perfect, but can my imperfections trump her dishonesty? She cheated on me, but what hurts worse is the lying; it’s like an emotional and mental betrayal. I have made countless efforts in order to allow her to trust me, but it’s like the more she lies to me the less she trusts me. Now, after three years of sticking with her through thick and thin and praying she opens up, I’m beginning to be angry all the time and screaming and yelling are becoming an everyday occurance. She looks at me like I’m a monster and is blaming my new-found resentments and anger for the reason she lies.
The problem is that she cheated on me, voluntarily swore on our childrens lives while knowing she was lying, and continues to lie everyday about where she’s been, who she’s talking to, and every second of her life, that I don’t see with my own eyes, is a mystery that she keeps secret by lying and manipulating. She did all of this before I ever got angry at her! Now, that I am finally standing up for what’s right, she’s attacking me by triangling mobs of her friends against me when she’s at work and telling everyone I have anger issues.
I mean, yeah, I do have issues with being angry at someone who constantly destroys our family with lies, childish games, and immature gossip.
Yet, somehow, I remember all the wonderful times that we have had in the past and I can’t help but love her deeply. We have two beautiful daughters who deserve to see mom and dad work it out. I have serious abandonement issues and the thought of losing my family again is unbearable. I’d rather be beaten to a pulp then lose my wife and kids and have them lose me.
My wife tells me she loves me and that she wants us to be together forever, but today she unearthed all of our personsal drama to anyone who would listen in the middle of Wal-Mart. She refused to talk to "me" about "our" relationship, but she had no problem telling 20 other people.
Someone called the police, and she swears she had nothing to do with that. I was calm and cooperative and the officer said that since I and she had done nothing wrong, there was nothing he could do either way.
She insisted on taking the children and staying seperate from me. I mean, we had an arguement this morning, but I didn’t expect all of this! She’s always telling me one thing and doing another. Lies! But, then she always comes back hoping that after a huge fiasco, I will bow to her will and allow her to lie to me day in and day out without getting upset or drawing any attention to her lies!?
Is it ok for her to just keep lying and lying and lying? She admits it, but expects me to never get angry about it?
I want my marriage to work!
She’ll keep lying to you as long as you keep taking her back. There are no repercussions for her actions…..you don’t do a thing. The only thing that will save this marriage is Marriage Counseling….and even then, I doubt it will. Sounds like you are living with a habitual lier and a cheater. Sorry dude…. but that’s what it sounds like to me. You are in a lose/lose situation.
Racer | Sep 21, 2009
Be care full what you wish for, you just may get it!
Your constantly allowing her to return is just enabling her and she will never change as long as you continue allowing this type of behavior.
No honesty, what makes you think you have a marriage that can survive.
If loosing the kids is a concern than start documenting her behavior, she may have a serious mental problem.
Archer | Sep 21, 2009
I just read this and my jaw dropped. I mean, I guess I don’t really grasp that my boyfriend or ex-boyfriend rather, is really like this.
I have always stayed in denial, as if I am just imagining that he is a habitual pathological liar. I confront him with his lies, red handed, he turns it around, saying I am crazy or he doesn’t recall saying such a thing.
I don’t understand how he is the one making threats on me and being angry at me, HE LOVES OTHER WOMEN!… I caught HIM loving other women and he has some how turned it around and become mad at me?!
It all has to do with respect. If she doesn’t respect you now, she won’t respect you then.
It has been a little over two years. I am just now ten days from being gone when he gets home. I am dreading the day and anticipating it in the same sense.
I am sure I will sob at the idea that he ruined my ‘family’, then I will blame myself, as if I wasn’t good enough for him to want me or our family. Then, I will get mad and analyze my entire life up until this point and wonder how in the hell I have gotten to the point where I have allowed anyone to treat me this way.
Hm… life.
**I agree with the man above. My biggest piece of advice is to document everything. I keep a journal online, I know every meal my daughter has eaten, every nap she has taken and every time he has stood in front of her screaming demeaning names and curse words at me.
My attorney says this documentation is detrimental when it comes to custody.
Mommy to a 17 month old! | Sep 21, 2009
It’s never ok to lie. I would never be in a relationship with someone who lies.
Matthew | Sep 21, 2009
Of course its not ok to lie.. but from what i read one of two things is going on here..
Either theres more to this story and your not as innocent as your coming off to be, and your a controlling , abusive type of a husband and she lies out of fear , and has been waiting for the opportunity to leave and when it arised she took it..
OR
She’s a habitual liar that has mental issues and because your to much of a push over because of your fear of possibly losing your family , your enabling the behavior instead of putting your foot down and getting it to stop..
Either way you have a huge problem in your marriage and until you both can figure a way to communicate with each other with out all the side drama this isnt going to work.. at some point its better to risk it all and then to constantly be someones door mat .. and if ur a great father, then who is to say that you cant have custody of your kids or atleast 50/50 custody why do u have to lose your family entirely?
And remember sometimes people tell u what u want to hear, because they are afraid of either upseting the other person, or having to be accountable for their own actions so they will lie and blame someone else for their own actions..
brwneyedgrl | Sep 21, 2009
She said that she loves you but she is not in love with you anymore. You need to let her have her space,, but don’t let her take the children. You can file for separation and give her space. You need to be strong and confident, I know it is very tough,, been there done that and believe me once you get your life back together, live a happy healthy enriched life, she will come back to you,, You can take her back if you find in your hear to forgive her and you can only do that if you truly love her. But you need to take care of your health and be stable, work hard and have a good life. She is just married right now to the guy you were not before ,, when you two first became attracted to each other.
jorge e | Sep 21, 2009
From the constant dishonesty, it sounds like you’ve stayed in it for too long. I know there’s this deep urge to stick with everything, "through thick and thin", but, you’ve got to realize that everything in life is a two-way street. Cut your losses now and prepare to raise your children separate from your wife, they need to be your focus now. Good luck in future relationships, and learn a lesson from this one – relationships are EQUAL PARTNERSHIPS, not one-way streets. Just watchout, there are potholes in the street!
Grateful Red (Nebraska) | Sep 21, 2009
Everyone lies..
no big deal!
Hobo Joe | Sep 21, 2009
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